Mama was and is my biggest hero. No matter what life put on her, she was the best and caring mama in the world. She was always making everyone happy. When we lost our brother, her life would not ever be the same; it left her numb the rest of her life. This was her 3rd child and he was only 22. Then my dad passed. Then my aunt, her son, and we thought she is not going to survive this all but she did because she loved us so much. As the years passed, as hard as things were, Mama always kept her chin up and her spirits high. She told me once, "Ela, when you go to America, it is the only thing I have not seen." It scared me and I told my husband who was in the army, "Still I do not want to go." I never gave him a reason, but soon we did, and my beloved mama came to see me. I did not know then this was the last time. When we took her to the airport, she turned, and noticed my tears. She smiled at me and said, "I love you, don't cry." but she did not say "I'll be back soon." I would never hear this again. Also, I am glad she can be with our family in Heaven. I can never stop crying anymore. My older brother followed her six month later. I can't grieve. I can't smile as much anymore, so when I put on this website, i was hoping it would help, but i only realized that's all i have left of my mama. The only reason i do not wish her back is because i don't want her to go thru all this pain ever again. i know i am selfish because i cant let go, i want to but you passed so suddenly and i could not say goodbye. i wanted to be with you, but nothing is as bright anymore in my life. you always made me laugh when i did something stupid, and when i got homesick, you always said, "dont be sad i am right here. you r still my baby." now i am an orphan i am no ones child anymore.  ohh mama i miss you i miss everyone so much but you  r my life-line, but that said you deserve your rest  and i hold you in my heart very tight.  you loving daughter, manuela